funny life quotes, sayings and quotations

funny life quotes, sayings and quotations


Don't drink and park - accidents cause people.
~cute life sayings about Cool Quotes

I'm gonna survive or die trying.
~funny quote about One liner

I've lost my phone number - can I have yours?
~sweet quote on life

Buy one for the price of two and get the second one free!
~hilarious life quote by Pretty Cool

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book
~cool quote about Television quotes

Always be sincere, even if you don't mean it.~Benny Hill (As far as I know)
~funny saying on life

You know you're getting fat when you can pinch an inch on your forehead
~cute life sayings about Age quotes

Life may suck, but it beats the alternative.
~funny quote about Cute Sayings

It's too bad that ignorance isn't painful.
~sweet quote on life

Why is it that night falls but day breaks?
~hilarious life quote by Mr Q

Sheep don't fly so much as plummet.
~cool quote about One liner

'Riddle me this,Riddle me that, Who's afraid of the big black bat?' Jim Carrey/Riddler in Batman Forever
~funny saying on life

An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex
~cute life sayings about Intelligence quotes

remember my name you'll be screaming it later!!
~funny quote about One liner

Cogito ergo sumo: I think therefore I am a huge fat wrestler.
~sweet quote on life

My boss treats me like a mushroom; He feeds me shit, and keeps me in the dark.
~hilarious life quote by Cool Pickup

My breasts are heavy, will you hold them for a while?
~cool quote about Pick-Up Line

Did you just fart, cause you blew me away
~funny saying on life

Going the speed of light is bad for your age
~cute life sayings about Cute sayings

Live life to the fullest... think of all the people on the Titanic who passed up chocolate dessert.
~funny quote about Advice

Ever notice that a human baby doesn't walk until it's tall enough to reach a parent's hand?
~sweet quote on life

Wise men don't need advice. Fools won't take it
~hilarious life quote by Benjamin Franklin

A man commented to his lunch companion: "My wife had a funny dream last night. She dreamed she'd married a millionaire." "You're lucky," sighed the companion. "My wife dreams that in the daytime
~cool quote about Joke quotes

Life is a glitch in the universal program
~funny saying on life

Here's to the sun God, He sure is a fun God, Ra, Ra, Ra
~cute life sayings about Religion
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