funny friendship quotes

Civilization is the distance man has placed between himself and his excreta.~Brian Aldiss
~cool quote about Social Commentary

The age of a woman doesn't mean a thing. The best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles
~funny saying on goodbye

Love is a fire. Whether it will warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell.
~cute goodbye sayings about Love

Don't come knocking if the car is rocking.
~funny quote about Cool Quotes

Once a month the sky falls on my head, I come to, and I see another movie I want to make
~sweet quote on goodbye

Things could be worse. Suppose your errors were counted and recorded every day like those of a baseball player.
~hilarious goodbye quote by Worker

If we outlaw guns, only outlaws will have guns.
~cool quote about Cute Quotes

I love to give homemade gifts... which one of my kids do you want?
~funny saying on goodbye

May you live as long as you want~and never want as long as you live.
~cute goodbye sayings about Feel Good

Front bumper -Run, Hilary, Run!
~funny quote about Cute Quotes

Happiness isn't getting what you want, it's wanting what you got.~Garth Brooks
~sweet quote on goodbye

Live life to the fullest... think of all the people on the Titanic who passed up chocolate dessert.
~hilarious goodbye quote by Cool Girl

What happens to an 18 hour bra after 18 hours?
~cool quote about Question

Sometimes we turn to God when our foundations are shaking, only to find out it is God who is shaking them.
~funny saying on goodbye

funny friendship quotes

Julian Dicks has been everywhere ... it's like West Ham have got eleven Dicks out there
~humorous quotes about Football quotes by Anonymous

My understanding of women goes only as far as the pleasures
~funny sayings about anchorman by Michael Caine

Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired
~Hilarious funny anchorman quotes

As a child, a library card takes you to exotic, faraway places. When you're grown up, a credit card does it
~humorous quotes about Money quotes by Sam Ewing

Live in danger. Build your cities on the slopes of Vesuvius
~funny sayings about anchorman by Friedrich Nietzsche

Pol Pot - he rounded up anybody he thought was intellectual and had them executed. And how he told someone was intellectual or not was whether they wore glasses. If they're that clever, take them off when they see him coming
~Hilarious funny anchorman quotes

Funny thing how you first meet the woman that you marry. I first met the wife in a tunnel of love. She was digging it
~humorous quotes about Love quotes by Les Dawson

It's a shame that the only thing a man can do for eight hours a day is work. He can't eat for eight hours; he can't drink for eight hours; he can't make love for eight hours. The only thing a man can do for eight hours is work
~funny sayings about anchorman by William Faulkner

When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself
~Hilarious funny anchorman quotes

Wasn't it good to see Eric Cantona back in action? Let's hope that this time he remembers that kicking people in the teeth is the Tory government's job
~humorous quotes about Football quotes by Tony Blair

Recession is when your neighbor loses his job. Depression is when you lose yours. And recovery is when Jimmy Carter loses his
~funny sayings about anchorman by Ronald Reagan

The princess is in.
~humorous sayings about anchorman by

Be the kind of person you always wanted your parents to be.
~funny quotes about Cool Quotes by

Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them.
~humorous sayings about anchorman by

funny ignorance sayings and quotations

funny ignorance sayings and quotations

Le sens commun n'est pas si commun (Common sense is not so common)--Voltaire [Francois-Marie Arouet
~funny Ignorance sayings about Funny Ignorance

Don't follow in my footsteps, I walk into walls.
~cute quote about Funny Ignorance

I am not stupid. Everyone else is just smarter than me.
~sweet quote on Ignorance

Make it idiot-proof, and someone will make a better idiot.
~hilarious Ignorance quote by Funny Guy

Not only do I not know what's going on, but I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did.
~cool quote about Funny Ignorance

Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
~funny saying on Ignorance

If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?
~funny Ignorance sayings about Funny Ignorance

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
~cute quote about Funny Ignorance

I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
~sweet quote on Ignorance

I may look busy, but I'm just confused.
~hilarious Ignorance quote by Funny Guy

Being good at stupid doesnt count.
~cool quote about Funny Ignorance

I smile because i have no idea what's going on.
~funny saying on Ignorance

If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.
~funny Ignorance sayings about Funny Ignorance

I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
~cute quote about Funny Ignorance

When in doubt, mumble.
~sweet quote on Ignorance

If ignorance is bliss, I'm the happiest person you'll ever meet.
~hilarious Ignorance quote by Funny Guy

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.--Albert Einstein
~cool quote about Funny Ignorance

I'm not a complete idiot: some parts are missing.
~funny saying on Ignorance

The difference between genius and stupidity is genius has its limits.-Albert Einstein
~funny Ignorance sayings about Funny Ignorance

Random cool humorous and hilariuos sayings category

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funny life quotes, sayings and quotations

funny life quotes, sayings and quotations


Don't drink and park - accidents cause people.
~cute life sayings about Cool Quotes

I'm gonna survive or die trying.
~funny quote about One liner

I've lost my phone number - can I have yours?
~sweet quote on life

Buy one for the price of two and get the second one free!
~hilarious life quote by Pretty Cool

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book
~cool quote about Television quotes

Always be sincere, even if you don't mean it.~Benny Hill (As far as I know)
~funny saying on life

You know you're getting fat when you can pinch an inch on your forehead
~cute life sayings about Age quotes

Life may suck, but it beats the alternative.
~funny quote about Cute Sayings

It's too bad that ignorance isn't painful.
~sweet quote on life

Why is it that night falls but day breaks?
~hilarious life quote by Mr Q

Sheep don't fly so much as plummet.
~cool quote about One liner

'Riddle me this,Riddle me that, Who's afraid of the big black bat?' Jim Carrey/Riddler in Batman Forever
~funny saying on life

An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex
~cute life sayings about Intelligence quotes

remember my name you'll be screaming it later!!
~funny quote about One liner

Cogito ergo sumo: I think therefore I am a huge fat wrestler.
~sweet quote on life

My boss treats me like a mushroom; He feeds me shit, and keeps me in the dark.
~hilarious life quote by Cool Pickup

My breasts are heavy, will you hold them for a while?
~cool quote about Pick-Up Line

Did you just fart, cause you blew me away
~funny saying on life

Going the speed of light is bad for your age
~cute life sayings about Cute sayings

Live life to the fullest... think of all the people on the Titanic who passed up chocolate dessert.
~funny quote about Advice

Ever notice that a human baby doesn't walk until it's tall enough to reach a parent's hand?
~sweet quote on life

Wise men don't need advice. Fools won't take it
~hilarious life quote by Benjamin Franklin

A man commented to his lunch companion: "My wife had a funny dream last night. She dreamed she'd married a millionaire." "You're lucky," sighed the companion. "My wife dreams that in the daytime
~cool quote about Joke quotes

Life is a glitch in the universal program
~funny saying on life

Here's to the sun God, He sure is a fun God, Ra, Ra, Ra
~cute life sayings about Religion
Random cool humorous and hilariuos sayings category

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funny nonsense sayings and quotations

funny nonsense sayings and quotations

All generalizations are false, even this one.
~funny Nonsense sayings about Nonsense Sayings

As long as I can remember, I've had amnesia.
~cute quote about Nonsense Sayings

I'm not insensitive, I just don't care.
~sweet quote on Nonsense

That place is so crowded, nobody goes there anymore.--Yogi Bera
~hilarious Nonsense quote by Funny Guy

As I said before, I never repeat myself.
~cool quote about Nonsense Sayings

Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.
~funny saying on Nonsense

I can resist everything except temptation.
~funny Nonsense sayings about Nonsense Sayings

Everyone hates me because I'm paranoid.
~cute quote about Nonsense Sayings

Constant change is here to stay.
~sweet quote on Nonsense

I have decided to be indecisive.
~hilarious Nonsense quote by Funny Guy

You non conformists are all the same.
~cool quote about Nonsense Sayings

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
~funny saying on Nonsense

I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure...
~funny Nonsense sayings about Nonsense Sayings

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that!
~cute quote about Nonsense Sayings

Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.--Albert Einstein
~sweet quote on Nonsense

I know it sounds like I'm in denial, but I'm not.
~hilarious Nonsense quote by Funny Guy

For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
~cool quote about Nonsense Jokes

Random cool humorous and hilariuos sayings category

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funny friendship quotes

Never forget a friend, especially those that owe you--Chinese Proverb
~humorous quotes about Humorous Sayings by Funny Guy

I was so poor growing up ... if I wasn't a boy ...I'd have nothing to play with.
~funny sayings about work by Rodney Dangerfield

A pun is the lowest form of humor -- when you don't think of it first
~Hilarious funny work sayings

As I said before, I never repeat myself.
~humorous quotes about Nonsense Sayings by Funny Guy

No matter how hard you work, the boss will only appear when you access the internet
~funny sayings about work by Hahaha

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
~Hilarious funny work sayings

What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.
~humorous quotes about Unknown by Unknown

I don't intend for this to take on a political tone. I'm just here for the drugs.
~funny sayings about work by Nancy Reagan

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met
~Hilarious funny work sayings

I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens
~humorous quotes about Death quotes by Woody Allen

Computer programmers don't byte, they nybble a bit
~funny sayings about work by Cute Girl

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go
~Hilarious funny work sayings

Some people are afraid of heights.I'm afraid of widths.
~humorous quotes about Funny Dieting Quotes by Funny Guy

why do they call it common sense when it aint very common?
~funny sayings about work by moi

Honk If Anything Falls Off
~humorous sayings about work by

I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth!
~funny quotes about Cool Quotes by

Police line. DO NOT CROSS.
~humorous sayings about work by

They told me I was gullible... and I believed them.
~funny quotes about Cool Sayings by

Nobody's perfect. I'm a Nobody.
~humorous sayings about work by

Funny looking quotations, quotes and sayings for your sense of humor

Funny looking quotations, quotes and sayings for your sense of humor

The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.
~cool cool looking phrases about Proverbs

The more you run over a dead cat, the flatter it gets.
~funny quote about Truth

If you think the way to a man's heart is through his stomach...your aiming too high.
~cute quote on looking

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.~Gloria Steinem
~sweet cool looking phrases by Funny Girl

Microbiology Lab: Staph Only!
~cool quote about Cute Sayings

I envy your lipstick.
~cute saying about looking

T.V.~Why do you think they call it programming?
~cool cool looking phrases about Social Commentary

It is better to give than to receive
~funny quote about Cool Cute Quotes

Everytime you speak you make someone dumber for listening to you.
~cute quote on looking

The optimist thinks this is the best of all possible worlds. The pessimist fears it's true.
~sweet cool looking phrases by Hitter

The Earth Is Full - Go Home
~cool quote about Cool Sayings

Reality is a figment of your imagination.
~cute saying about looking

One of the few things that rivals a sore loser is an arrogant winner.
~cool cool looking phrases about Proverbs

Ask no questions and hear no lies.
~funny quote about Cool Cute Quotes

God: I think I'll call it a day.
~cute quote on looking

Publication is a self-invasion of privacy
~cool cool looking phrases about Writers quotes

Men, chocolate, and coffee are all better rich.
~humor quote about Rich Jokes

Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW.
~cute quote on looking

There's no place like http://www.home.com
~sweet cool looking phrases by Funny Guy

An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile--hoping it will eat him last
~hilarious quote about Wisdom quotes

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something
~funny saying about looking

'Stressed' is 'Desserts' spelled backwards
~cool cool looking phrases about Funny Dieting Quotes

The rain forest has Sting. Now Siberia has Jack Dee. Someone had to draw the short straw. In this case it was the rain forest
~humor quote about Television quotes

Computer hackers do it all night long
~cute quote on looking

The right honourable gentleman is reminiscent of a poker. The only difference is that a poker gives off the occasional signs of warmth
~sweet cool looking phrases by Benjamin Disraeli

A man has five items in his bathroom: a
toothbrush,
shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott.
The
average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A
man
would not be able to identify most of these items.
~hilarious quote about BATHROOMS Jokes

The fact that no one understands you doesn't make you an artist.
~funny saying about looking

Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Teach him how to fish and you get rid of him all weekend
~cool cool looking phrases about Wisdom quotes

My mom was a ventriloquist and she always was throwing her voice. For ten years I thought the dog was telling me to kill my father
~humor quote about Joke quotes

Man is a peculiar creature. He spends a fortune making his home insect-proof and air-conditioned, and then eats in the yard.
~cute quote on looking

Funny quotes & Cute sayings categories

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